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Imposter Syndrome

by Action/Adventure

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1.
You can find us in between the margins a breath of fresh err on the side of caution.Went from midwest dreams over to east coast screams. A false bravado hid behind the scenes. I'm the imposter. We're the imposters.
2.
Can you leave the door cracked? Cause I might just come back. In the form of a whisper, deep delivered through sad songs and cigarettes. We're cashing in our checks from time we invested, and patience we tested. We paid our debts. You're living in the presence of an instant classic. Built from distress flares from the over dramatic and hopeless romantics. We've all been burned. We'll stand our ground. This is our time now. At a crossroads undetermined, in the crosshairs, inconsistent and under wraps. Trying not to save yourself. And all this time we're turning back. Second chances we never had. You come face to face with the fact that. Light a spark before the fire's out. And if we give up now no one will stick around to catch us before we hit the ground.
3.
Autopilot 03:43
Too late is beside the point. I traded in my dreams for prescription and coin. A penny for my thoughts on my quarter life crisis. Do you have the time to hear my virtues and vices? Don't call this casual. Cause we're hoping for a miracle. We put in the time, and tested our patience. Six hundred miles and exposure for payment. You can string me along, like a hook to a played out song. You've always been a part of me. And I've been waiting patiently for things to get better. You're just like Chicago weather. You're hot and cold I never know. I melt for you, and then you turn to snow. Under pressure and underrated. I'm wearing myself thin. I'm held together by shoe strings and casual sin. Wrong place at the worst time. Did I do the right thing with the right people? I know that I get tunnel vision. But it's worth it just to keep the feeling. Mistakes and regrets. Headaches and missteps. And you think we're misguided.
4.
3818 03:05
We're making mistakes on a moral dilemma, or maybe it's ethics. Cause we're sleeping inside as we open umbrellas, and I'm feeling pathetic. If I could just have all the answers. Maybe I'd be better off without you, but would you be better off without me? I'll take a leave of absence, call it a compromise. Cause my spirits on the rocks, it should come as no surprise. I'm anything but neat, but that's not the principal. I still stand on my two feet, I'm sick of being miserable. I wanna dig up dinosaur bones. Or maybe be the envy of the midwestern coast. But instead we're breaking mirrors. And walking under ladders. And stepping on the cracks. At least you'd think so. So take a shot if it calms your nerves. From the city, to the suburbs. To feed the voices in my head. They say you're getting old, you'll never be this young again. Pinky swears are turning into broken promises. But in the movies man they're letting all the angels win. But the devil gets all the best lines. If I could just have all the answers, then maybe I would be better off without you. But would you be better off without me?
5.
I'm colored jade, a self-sabotaging hand grenade. So pull the pins and needles from my existential nerves. I'm overdue, resulting from my tainted youth. I'm haunted in the city with origins in the burbs. I'm covered up in cobwebs and layers left in dust. My mind's bending backwards with questions who to trust. I'm frozen with fear and unable to abide, and through it all I still survive. No matter what the cost is, we're still chasing losses. I've been trying harder just to not feel as obsessed. Over all the time and space that hangs over my head. Can't see the forest for the trees and soon our plans will be the leaves before September even comes, I'm not scared. Sink or swim, just as long as I'm the captain of my own ship. This mental mutiny is getting out of hand.
6.
FNBP 02:40
I made this mess so I'll clean it up. I'm flying solo cups to fuel my self-esteem. But then I crashed.Can you see the smoke? Don't trip, I'm only stoned but lacking urgency, so call the calvary. Cause I'm searching for someone that doesn't ever think of me. It's getting hard to believe. We're managing adults. But we still have our faults. This is the dream but we're stuck chasing paper taking shots with no chasers. Picked up on all the signs, reading between the lines and looked the other way. Until you drown in this paradigm, stories and alibis are fading to the memories. Of all the bridges left burning, this is the heat I can't take. Unrelenting candid scorched and reeling. With all this constant pressure, it's hard to keep this together. Fuck all them haters.
7.
Levity 03:20 video
I'm mentally undressed with my back against your mattress. I'm great at sleep but damn I can use the practice. I never painted houses but I might just paint my own. Spattered explanations on scraps of paper and pixel stained phones. Levity is slowly killing me. I need some weight on my shoulders to keep myself awake. Levity is slowly killing me. I need some weight on my shoulders, I'm sick of tempting fate. I'm mentally a mess, but it's so hard to confess. Vices hold me close from pre to post, so you should keep your distance. I never loved the weakness but I mean it when I say this feels like home. The coffee pot is hot, and the shots are always cold. I'm a masochist. You're a lover, I'm a fighter and a pacifist. A rags to riches philanthropist. I'm a hopeless romantic. Lost in semantics again.
8.
So your coping skills are weak. You can find me six feet deep in a hole you dug yourself. You said that you didn't need my help. But the blood that stains these hands, they beg to differ. I know you hate the taste of copper, but here's a penny for my thoughts. Cause our wishing well ran dry. And the novelty wore off. Treading the waters of nostalgia but brought down by rusted anchors. At least I'm consistent. I'm stuck in complacency. Can you tell me again that this is worth it? I'm stuck in redundancy. I can't do this on my own. Can you still hear me? I can't make it all alone. I saw my heroes turn to fossils. Like the CDs in my center console. Can you call this progress or is it all just a dream? As I'm haunted by the To Be Continued screen. Is this life for me? You'd rather watch a train wreck held with thunderous applause than stop to watch the sunset. I can see the writing on the walls. Remembering the dead is easier than keeping them alive. So we'll follow in their footsteps instead of swallowing our pride. I hate the taste of copper but it seems my tongue's been split. Words and actions speaking out of turn, my thoughts are losing grip. I tried my best not to let out the worst in me. Making the best of this mess that you made of things.
9.
Your whispers turned to weapons. Ignored in the wrong hands. And now you're sitting in the corner crying. Cause you knew from when I told you there was something on my mind. I left it to unwind. I know I always keep thoughts wrapped in apologies, dreaming about struggling every night when I'm asleep. I'm tired of looking for the perfect fit. Burning out I just can't get a grip, but I can't bring myself to quit. So show me something I haven't seen. I'm feeling like a pixel dead on the screen, I'm burning out. Withering away, the leaves have now been long gone. They've gone and left me out to die, and left me searching for a better life. Looking for fault but it's only mine. Always yearning for a warmer time. And searching for some peace of mind. Instead I'm missing all the signs. Right past the path like I'm color blind. We've been stuck in the vicious cycle, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Days feeling shorter but we're getting older. We need to make sure that our time was enough.
10.
Wanderlust 03:47
I'd be stupid to give up. That's what I said back then. But I'm near a decade older and I'm still wondering when. I got the truth inside my holster. My fantasy in my crosshairs. A Russian roulette bullet-pointed existential nightmare. I owe it to myself, and everyone I love. Is this enough? I lust to wander an extra in sonder. A lantern without kerosene. Broken not burnt out I'm still stuck in somehow. A victim of self-parody. So come save me. I guess you didn't seem to notice but everybody ends up all the same. Dying. Slowly. But not as fast as I like. Another windy city midnight. A dead man's brigade, with thoughts going off like a hand grenade. I could've had anything I ever wanted. Four years and a shovel for their profits. Buried under doubt with a broken conscience. Headstone reads: tread lightly. I'm in too deep. I'm stuck in a rut. I've been dangerously out of touch. I'm a melancholy complacent. With all my answers adjacent. I'm a passenger in my own skin. So come save me.

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released November 11, 2022

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Action/Adventure Chicago, Illinois

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